Father's day thoughts

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I used to lament all the time that I felt like the men in my life when I was growing up didn't help me or offended me.  It was a pretty good victim story for a while. 

Then some of the men whose pictures that I have shared showed me about what a father is.  They taught me how to look beyond the titles and see the man.  The loving, imperfect man. 

Then I had the realization.  How many years was I going to hold my father ( or mother) to a standard that probably no one could meet. And by continually reliving the " stories from the past"  I was not allowing them to teach me the current lessons of their lives. The lessons that I needed to hear. How they learned to move into a deeper state of awareness, forgiveness and how to age gracefully. 

This past year, I got to absolutely fall in "daughter kind of" love with my father.  When I went to New York, I sat on the floor in his room ( he lives in assisted living) and listened to his stories, his growth.  I found that I dearly love the man who is my father today.  ( the same is true with my mother).

This past year I finally stopped acting like my parents owed me a different childhood. They were honestly doing the best they could with the information they had at the time.  They have changed and grown.

I have to let them.

I decided to define myself differently.  I have decided that I want to define myself as a good daughter.    Since that trip to see my father, I have begun doing things for both of my parents that I think a " good daughter" would do. 

The results have been amazing. 

We all now have an easy relationship.  We can even laugh a little at my quirkiness and they let me share with their quirkiness. 

This is one of the best father's day I have ever had.  It took more than one man to teach me how to be a  daughter, more loving to men. 

​ Thanks guys, you made a big difference!

Happy Fathers Day.

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