This is truly a life changing experience. actually more like life clearing out. I am allowing the experience without judging the changes. Does that make sense to you? Stopping to judge the changes that are happening would stop the flow....the yoga that I am asking to change me.
I am finding that during my sessions of 108 sun salutations I am exploring the NiYamas of :
Tapas- self discipline. It has been challenging to keep my word to you and me to stay in this challenge for 30 days. Yet self discipline is something that I have been reaching for since I began in my journey in recovery. As an addict, I was highly undisciplined in every way. This journey is reaching within me spiritually and emotionally to gain a level of the discipline I have come to enjoy in many parts of my recovery.
Svadhyaya-self-study, inner exploration. Reaching deeper into who I am and how I make the decisions through my motivations. The amount of salutations help me to move my ego to the side and find the lesson and prayers on the other side of ego.
Ishvara Pranidhana- surrender. At salutation 50, I find that my want to give up begins and I work to surrender to the process and the flow of my yoga. Just as I am asking to move through the life with flow in this challenge, I am hoping to learn to surrender to the needs of my heart and body.
Today a wonderful friend gave me the teaching.
This year has been a major year of change for me. I have had pretty extreme loss of people I love and lean on, changing in how I identify with my no longer having a child in school ( not quite an empty nester yet, they are working their way out), reaching for my dreams of a house and farm by creating soap and selling it. A year of vulnerability willingly given and a year of it being forced on me. A year of shifting sands. My friend told me that there wasn't a problem with my program of recovery ( as I have been told by others in the rooms) but me learning to ingrate my new normal, having a human experience. I am learning how my new normal doesn't have to be all sad and that the sad is meant to be integrated.
As I have said many, many times, I need both yoga and my program of recovery to keep me moving on a healthy path, a healthy manner of living to which I will continue to be proud.
Working with the steps, the yamas, niyamas and yoga are the holding and being held that I need. This sun salutation challenge is growing me through this scary stage back into the grace that I want to define my life, the miracles that I need and have come to be able to see in the faces of my students and clients.
Now, let's talk about one more piece, the piece that is about you. I have a few people who are doing some variation of the sun salutations at the 108 number. Fantastic and to you I say please stay safe and listen to your body, no hurting you! Remember yoga is about listening to your body, mind and spirit.
To my other dear ones who have been worried about starting the challenge, or have expressed feeling " not enough". I love you. Remember our rule, do what you can, not what you can't. If you do one pose per day, then you are part of the challenge. One of my students asked if she did her back stretches every day, would that be a part of the challenge.....YES!!!!!
Please, please look back at the niyamas that I listed above. Can you create a 30 day practice that can help you to learn more in you about surrender? Self Study? Self Discipline? Then you are as perfect as I see you.
Please remember our yoga at My RealBodyoga is about community , love and acceptance. You are always my heart and enough, just as you are!
If ever I can be of help, help you design a yoga series that works for your special needs or to pray for and with you, please let me know. You deserve to be loved and seen! Contact me here.