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10/27/2018 0 Comments

Are you happy with who you are??

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I am happy with who I am.
 
For those of us who had traumatic births, were not wanted, or had trauma early in life, this can be a daunting phrase to believe and live.  Everything in us can tell us differently.  Yet that just isn’t true.
 
You are worthy of love, first the love is from you!
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This one took me years and years. Literally.  Tons of counseling, step work, working with sponsors, sponsees, reading all the self-help stuff, taking classes, etc.
 
The time when this lesson really came to me with an old friend.   He taught me this phrase, “I like who I am when I’m with you”
 
Wait, what?  Is that a codependent phrase?  Let me say it again…


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“I like who I am when I’m with you. “

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​For me that phrase has helped me to find my people. You see, when   I am my most comfortable, most natural self, then that is a place or person I should be around.  When my anxiety rises, I feel insecure and stumbling, that is not a situation that I need to be a part of.  That easy.  If I don’t like who I am being, then I can leave until I feel familiar to me again.
 
At first I used that phrase to help me to break my codependency and anxiety in social situations. Once I found “my people”, I used it to help me move through uncomfortable situations.    I found my people, my place, my heart, I knew I could go anywhere and be authentic.
 
Yes, today I have found a way to be happy with who I am. I am not perfect, still have anxiety, weird quirks and social anxiety. Yet the feeling that I need to run away and hide is gone, the feeling that I don’t measure up has left.
 
Allow yourself to heal, the love you are seeking is within you. I promise, when you learn your value, when you see it, you will never again allow yourself to live a life less than what you deserve.
 
And my darling, you deserve the best!

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10/26/2018 0 Comments

Mountain is the beginning of where I stand

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One of the most recognizable poses in yoga is Mountain Pose. This pose may appear to be simply standing , but there is so much more work going on in the pose.
The Sanskrit name for Mountain is Tadasana.  Tada means mountain and Asana means pose. I believe that Mountain is one of the most important poses in yoga because it is important to learn how to stand on your own two feet in peace and breath.
( Did you know there is a chair yoga version of Mountain?  This pose is so important that every yogi can access it!)

Many yoga instructors believe that mountain is a great pose because it ( and you have hear this before in classes) is grounding, creates stability, and you connect with the earth.
What if it was more?


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A few of the physical benefits are improvement of posture, spine alignment and attention, strengthening of the abdominals, legs and buttocks, improves balance a ( and belief of balance) and may help relieve the symptoms of sciatica, flat feet and plantar fasciaitis.

The  qualities that are within  to be gained consistency, harmony, endurance and insurmountability.

We love mountains because they have long been seen as a place where the sacred is found.  While mountains are well grounded to the center of the earth, the power of the mountain is the lightness and airiness of the top.  Many have climbed mountains to “find themselves” or a spiritual path, a place of Divine Inspiration.
To move deeper into the meaning of Mountain, we are to also be rising to the Divine.  Other benefits of Tadasana that are not often taught are the spiritual aspects; easy breath, opening of the chest and standing lightly.  We allow ourselves to become absorbed into the pose, we allow our every cell to be focused into the breath and rising higher than ourselves.

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Moving from the grounded ego and into being closer to God.
The essence of yoga is to align our consciousness with God’s consciousness.
An affirmation written by Swami Kriyananda is “ I stand ready to obey Thy command”.  The standing is not as a soldier to attention, but a loving student to the lessons of the Master.  I stand ready to move into the service that God would have me do. Another way to speak to this affirmation is “I stand ready to follow the inner voice of wisdom”.
Many times in yoga classes , we will shy away from talking about the spiritual aspects of yoga for fear of offending a student. Yet when students move into the poses , they often talk about a feeling of peace that comes over them.  That feeling is called being at one with God. This is where the practice of yoga differentiates from the “ yoga classes” that are often taught and are represented in the media.


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​Allow yourself the joy of Mountain, allow your time to calm the mind and reach higher than you believe you can. Know that there is a wonderful place of peace, happiness and Divine inspiration waiting for you.
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First, we begin in Mountain

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10/23/2018 0 Comments

The process of intentional living......

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10/21/2018 0 Comments

Learning more about balance...

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​These concepts are so simple, and so much more difficult that initially one would believe.
Balance. First that was so hard for me and continues to be a part of my coping that needs continual attention.  I find that in my day to day job, I end up living 100% in my head, my spirit and body are elsewhere.  Yet when I come home from work, I can almost feel the balance begin.  I have set my home up for that, for my balance.
Let’s talk about  the ethical manners of living that a higher level of emotional recovery entails.
In the study of yoga, one of the limbs in 8 limbs Hatha Yoga are the Yamas and Niyamas. Yamas are the internal thoughts and motivations.  The Niyamas are habits , behaviors and observances that we practice ( I like to say this is what others can see in us).
Aparigraha (non-grasping) is more than not being greedy, though that is also the concept. Not Grasping is also learning how to let go.  Sound familiar, like Let Go and Let God?   Yup, like that.  You know when you go on social media to just “see “ how your ex is doing…….grasping.  Do you keep going to the same places over and over again because you want to remember a feeling?  Grasping.   Aparigraha is about learning how to enjoy this moment and appreciate those past moments for what they offered.  I like to use the example of the importance of non grasping is like trying to grab water in the stream.  Try it.  What does your grasping do?  Nothing helpful, it does take your vision and heart away from the sound of the stream, the beauty of the sky, the deepness of the healing breath in nature.   Notice how often you “grasp”.  Within that grasping, allow your breath to return, the breath will let you know when to let go.
The Niyama “ Saucha” means purity. This is the behaviors we show the world. While it can mean sexual purity, it means so much more, It’s about purifying the body, mind and spirit. This is more about being who you really are. Letting your actions and words match. Being your word on a deeper level . As you begin to be “cash register honest” as we often hear in meetings, we become radiant, shiny as a friend of mine says. This is where attraction rather than promotion occurs. We become shiny and attract others who need to hear the words of hope to us.
Allow yourself to work on both Aparigraha and Saucha daily. I don’t believe that I will ever meet perfection any day. Yet working step by step, I will be able to be of more service to God and others.  


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10/21/2018 0 Comments

October 21st, 2018

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10/20/2018 0 Comments

A moment of Gratitude

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The picture to the left is exactly why I love teaching yoga, this simple gift that said everything. 

​Part of my practice is to bring yoga  to those who normally can't afford it or have never been exposed to it.  To take people who haven't been in touch with their bodies for years, accept them as they come to the mat with jeans and wool socks and they turn into yogis is the magic I get to witness.

This picture comes from a student who was initially super resistant to yoga ( actually said "I Hate Yoga" to me).  I heard  and just stood for the healing awaiting.

My job as a yoga instructor is not to help people perfect the poses.  It is to help them stop the self imposed war on themselves and to find their "True Self" or " Bliss State".   Whenever I see people needing to feed the ego by posting selfies of themselves in a yoga pose, I wonder, " where is their yoga?".  ( now as a yoga business owner, I will eventually have a slew of pictures of me too..so feel free to ask me.......just sayin'!)

I wonder do they know , or even teach , that there is so much more to yoga than whether you can achieve someone else's perception of perfect?    What about the mind?  The peace of the soul?  

As a curvy yoga teacher for many years, I have on more occasions that I can count, had students come into my class, snap their mat into place ( PS that is considered rude), and sigh the whole time I am teaching.   Some will even say, " do you do anything more advanced?".

Thank you for asking, yes I do!   I teach you how to first stop judging yourself so harshly, encourage freedom by connecting people to the breath, to nature and to drop preconceived ideas and opinions of self. To identify that we are all one people and the idea of advanced is a perception of ego within self.  I teach the "other poses", poses of the breath, mind and heart, a sense of belonging and community.

That kind of teaching, the kind of teachers of old who were loved and respected by their students, is how I was trained.   It is with great joy that I carry on that tradition,.  It is with amazement and joy that people who "hate yoga" can turn to embrace it's very core. 

I am grateful that I also teach those who normally would not come to a yoga studio, It is  at their feet that I learn humility , community and get to see the miracle of love in action. My students make me the yogi I am today.

Thank you




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I AM HERE!
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10/18/2018 0 Comments

Gratitude

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10/17/2018 0 Comments

How to support a loved one after an unexpected death.

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 This isn't a blog post that I thought I would be writing. Actually it breaks my heart.

Not that I would never have talked about this very important topic on this site, just never thought it would be in this way.

My heart is broken for one of my children.   A person he was beginning to get close with has passed unexpectedly this past week.  On Saturday we were at a memorial service of a friend who also decided to end his life.   My son said he has lost 10 people in 4 years, a majority of them to suicide. 

This is tragic.

This blog post is about being a scared mom, leading my family to how to help support their brother who is crushed right now.  I am scared for my son, for his decisions, his healing, his ability to keep trusting. 

Yet we are very lucky to have members of our family in the counseling field. While that fact alone in no way insulates us from really anything, we are lucky to have a practice and the information of helping people through crisis.    These are the very tools we are using to help our family member and it is my hope that these tools can help someone you love too.

Feelings are real. And unpredictable
There is no right way to process such a shock, actually any emotional shock. You may have seen lists in print stating that these are the stages of grief. Well, yes , those are the stages but emotions don't follow a path, they are their own beast. When you or your loved one experiences emotions that appear " out of the time line" , know that your loved one is experiences the feelings perfectly for them.  The feelings that you may feel or see are:
shock
anger
quiet
guilt 
despair
blame
depression
flashbacks
denial
and many others

When I worked in hospice and in oncology, we would see people all of the time fight because they felt some family members weren't   "grieving right".   Your loved one may appear that nothing is wrong, or make inappropriate jokes at the wrong times. Someone may appear to not be taking the news seriously.   There is no right way to feel the emotions, to take surprising news and no blue print when emotions raise their ugly head. 

 Just sit and be with the person, you don't have to remind them of the event, they know.  Let the information flow , some people won't talk at all, others will talk to the most smallest detail.   Remind them that you love them and make space for the emotions to be completely upended,   There is no timeline on grief.

REALLY, really listen 
Let the person know that you don't know what to say. It's ok, They probably don't know what they want you to say either.   There are no perfect words that can make a loved one's death ok.  Try to offer nonjudgement support.   Let them tell their story over and over again, or sometimes not at all.  Listen to their words and read their body language. If they are telling the story and appear to shiver, ask if they need a blanket, a warm cup of tea.  A hug may not always be what a grieving person needs , but also offer that if it feels appropriate.  

Make sure that they know you have no expectations of how long they will grieve nor how they will express it.  In our family the rule has always been you feel your feelings as long as you need to .  It is just as important to listen to the story the first time right after it happens, as it is the 100th time 5 months later , as it is on the anniversary.   There is no time line, only integration of the reality of the loss with the person's present. 

It's OK to not know what to do
There are no etiquette books on the proper way to handle grief or shock.  So make sure you don't try to "bring the perfect answer".   Don't beat on yourself for not knowing what to do or become inauthentic with your loved one.  They will sense your lack of comfort and may become uncomfortable themselves, which will make the emotions more difficult to manage.

Tell then you don't know what to say.  It's ok to show concern and tell them you are worried about them.  With my son, I apologized and said, " I don't know what to say, so sometimes I will talk about chores or other stuff because I feel awkward. " He smiled and said he understood.  That clear communication helped both of us, I could be who I needed to be and he knew that I wan't making light of his pain or placing an expectation of a timeline of healing on him.

Allow the person you are supporting to dictate what they need.  If they need to talk, do that. If they need to be quiet , do that.  My son loves our local Chinese Buffet and even though I didn't really have the budget for it, we all went to the Chinese Buffet.  I think the normalcy and the distraction helped him through a few minutes. 

While it's ok to cry and express emotion with your loved one, process your feelings with someone outside of the issue. Your loved one is trying to breathe, They can't handle care taking of another person right now or manage your pain at their pain.  Allow them to lean on you, you lean on another. 

Root Chakra Issue
Remember, it is about making it through the next few minutes in the beginning.  This is the kind of event that shakes someone to their very core.  When in shock, we move back into our very foundation.  Allow you and your loved one to be as base as they need. 

Intentional healing within the root chakra can include some deep work, yet there are gentle ways to work within this level.  
* grounding essential oil blends with an airy note can be helpful.  Something like sandalwood and lavender; citrus and juniper.   Have these only in the home, not where the event occurred, you want a positive association of healing with the oils. 
* wear organic, soft fabrics.
* Keep food simple, warm and limited processed foods as much as possible. Warm root vegetables in a beautiful broth may be pleasant and easily digestible. 
* Keep sound and light levels low
* encourage rest , not just sleep, include a yoga nidra
* exercise moderate, restorative yoga poses, walks in nature
* remind your loved one that they are safe and you are present to be of help
* remind them that it is ok to be distracted and laugh, play games or go dancing. This doesn't mean that they have forgotten their loved one, it means that they are being healthy in their grief and a distraction may give their mind a moment to heal.

In Summary:
A sudden death can be such a shock to the system and there are no perfect words to say, no time limit on grief.  Yet allowing someone to grieve in front of you can be one of the kindest acts of service that you will ever do.

Remember to take care of yourself so you can be completely present with them. Listen to what they need and allow that need. It may be different from the way you would grieve, that is ok.  There is no rule book.

In the early days of grief, allow everything to slow down.  Make life around them simple, nourishing and quiet.

People heal, I promise. They may not be the same person as before the event.  No one ever is. But, when you are present, you will help them to come back into a life that they can recognize and begin to enjoy again. 

May you be blessed on this sacred way.




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10/15/2018 0 Comments

Week One- Foods for building the foundation!

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Oh root vegetables, I love you so. You provide countless benefits to the body. And in season, you are simply divine!
 
The amazing benefits of root vegetables are, -wait for it- they are grounding.  Many vegetables of the root variety are packed with fiber, vitamins C, B and A plus antioxidants.  (Please always consider buying local and organic!)  These vitamins are known to reduce inflammation in the body that may be created from long term, high stress lifestyles.
Food’s role in your life is a journey. What better way to begin this journey then starting it right with paying attention to what you feed your body. I am not talking about the act of going on a diet, but about diet. There is a monumental difference. Dieting is a temporary fix, and in my mind a continuation of the war on ourselves. Diet is a lifestyle.  We can make decisions on how we want our lifestyle to be reflected, then shop accordingly.
 
Many years ago, me and my firstborn son embarked on a food journey. He had terrible eczema, especially on the backs of his knees.  It was so bad that he would bleed when he walked. So I began investigating the correlation between food and his skin condition.  I learned so very much.
I learned about the value of intention with food.  (And every year I feel like I learn more)  I learned about factory farming. As a result, I have not eaten beef or pork for over 30 years.  I learned that farmers aren’t hugely subsidized, so I decided to shop at Farmer’s Markets as often as possible. As I have learned these things, I have discovered that the intention and love behind the food; from it’s growth to it’s harvest, creates a remarkable difference in the way my body processes it.  I was hooked.  (I would love to tell you that I have been a puritan through this process and I haven’t.  Yet every little decision has made a big difference.  Even in the way I cook.  I cook with prayer of thanksgiving for the life given so I could eat, the hands that brought the food to my table and for the people who are about to eat it.)   My every purchase is made with intention and I vote with my dollars. Some people say that my dollars alone won’t count, yet I believe I am making a small dent in an unsustainable system by teaching my family and telling you about the impact of food , dollars and intention.
But, back to root vegetables.  Allow for the weeks that you may be working on foundational issues (for those in a 12 step program….maybe when you are on your fourth step!).  The proper nutrition, the intention behind the desire to heal will all play a part in the intention design of your life.

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Here is a fun recipe for beets.  Let me know what you think!
 
Beets Béchamel
1 pound of Beets ( I like using beets of various colors, it’s just so pretty!)
Steam the beets over boiling salted water, until a fork comes out easily but they aren’t mushy
Create a basic Rue
2 tbsp butter ( I always either use real butter or coconut oil, both work well.)
Allow the butter to melt in your pan.
While the butter is melting, heat 2 cups of milk to just warm . ( Again, you can substitute here)
Add ½ cup of flour slowly to your butter, stirring to make a paste .  Slowly add in the heated milk.  Allow the sauce to thicken , keep stirring.

( Now here is where you can get creative, you can add any spices here you like. I add nutritional yeast, black pepper, a little nutmeg.  Add what you think your family would love.  This sauce lends itself nicely to all kinds of cheese too- just stir the cheese in about one minute before you take it off the heat!)

Take the sauce once it is spiced to your liking off of the heat.

Turn the oven onto 350

Take the now cooled beets and slice them ( slice with intention, thinking about the people you are making the food for, thanking the people who grew the food and brought it to you.  In macrobotics, it is said that the energy that you put into the food goes into your loved ones.  Make all of your cuts as uniformly as possible, increasing order and discipline in your meal!) in about one inch slices, layering them in a baking pan. 

Cover the beets with the ooey goodness of the sauce.

Bake for 20 to 30 minutes.
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The smell is heavenly, the color is the prettiest pink that you have ever seen and the taste…out of this world!
(And guess what, now that you have the basics, you can make any root vegetable a special dinner!!)
Doing healing work, eating lovely food made with heart and intention.  Does it get any better than that???

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    Author


    Sandra Kozlowski is the author of Building Blocks of Recovery  She is also a singing bowl musician with her CD , Singing for the Soul (  on Amazon.)
    Sandy is a chemical dependency counselor and a certified yoga instructor with additional certifications of Recovery Yoga, Curvy Yoga and Yoga for All.
    Her home yoga studio is at Firefly Yoga in Olympia , Washington. Sandy lives with two of her 6 children, one rescue dog, two cats and lots of fish!
    Sandy enjoys a life that is mosaic in nature and has begun creating products that will support a healthy and fun lifestyle. Please also check out the website 
    thehousethatsoapbuilt.com  to make your purchases of these beautiful handmade products!

    ​

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Sandra Kozlowski,
​Certified Recovery Coach, Certified Recovery Yoga Teacher
SUDP, CAAR, AAS, RHY 200
Curvy Yoga Certified, Y12SR Certified, Yoga for All Certified


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