This is truly a life changing experience. actually more like life clearing out. I am allowing the experience without judging the changes. Does that make sense to you? Stopping to judge the changes that are happening would stop the flow....the yoga that I am asking to change me.
I am finding that during my sessions of 108 sun salutations I am exploring the NiYamas of :
Tapas- self discipline. It has been challenging to keep my word to you and me to stay in this challenge for 30 days. Yet self discipline is something that I have been reaching for since I began in my journey in recovery. As an addict, I was highly undisciplined in every way. This journey is reaching within me spiritually and emotionally to gain a level of the discipline I have come to enjoy in many parts of my recovery.
Svadhyaya-self-study, inner exploration. Reaching deeper into who I am and how I make the decisions through my motivations. The amount of salutations help me to move my ego to the side and find the lesson and prayers on the other side of ego.
Ishvara Pranidhana- surrender. At salutation 50, I find that my want to give up begins and I work to surrender to the process and the flow of my yoga. Just as I am asking to move through the life with flow in this challenge, I am hoping to learn to surrender to the needs of my heart and body.
Today a wonderful friend gave me the teaching.
This year has been a major year of change for me. I have had pretty extreme loss of people I love and lean on, changing in how I identify with my no longer having a child in school ( not quite an empty nester yet, they are working their way out), reaching for my dreams of a house and farm by creating soap and selling it. A year of vulnerability willingly given and a year of it being forced on me. A year of shifting sands. My friend told me that there wasn't a problem with my program of recovery ( as I have been told by others in the rooms) but me learning to ingrate my new normal, having a human experience. I am learning how my new normal doesn't have to be all sad and that the sad is meant to be integrated.
As I have said many, many times, I need both yoga and my program of recovery to keep me moving on a healthy path, a healthy manner of living to which I will continue to be proud.
Working with the steps, the yamas, niyamas and yoga are the holding and being held that I need. This sun salutation challenge is growing me through this scary stage back into the grace that I want to define my life, the miracles that I need and have come to be able to see in the faces of my students and clients.
Now, let's talk about one more piece, the piece that is about you. I have a few people who are doing some variation of the sun salutations at the 108 number. Fantastic and to you I say please stay safe and listen to your body, no hurting you! Remember yoga is about listening to your body, mind and spirit.
To my other dear ones who have been worried about starting the challenge, or have expressed feeling " not enough". I love you. Remember our rule, do what you can, not what you can't. If you do one pose per day, then you are part of the challenge. One of my students asked if she did her back stretches every day, would that be a part of the challenge.....YES!!!!!
Please, please look back at the niyamas that I listed above. Can you create a 30 day practice that can help you to learn more in you about surrender? Self Study? Self Discipline? Then you are as perfect as I see you.
Please remember our yoga at My RealBodyoga is about community , love and acceptance. You are always my heart and enough, just as you are!
If ever I can be of help, help you design a yoga series that works for your special needs or to pray for and with you, please let me know. You deserve to be loved and seen! Contact me here.
Yoga and my program of recovery have taught me to reach for honesty at all costs. I don't know that I always reach it every day, but I try. Yoga taught me the best way was to learn honesty in my body. I challenge both messages, my "I can" and my " I can't".
With my 108 sun salutations, I could talk my self out of doing the work. Yet I am in awe of the benefits, part of it is because I can literally manage the flow of the movement myself. The other is that I can stop and take care of me as I need to. If I need to stop and massage my feet, I do that. If I need a sip of water , I do that to. This challenge isn't about bragging about how much I can damage my body. This challenge for me is about how I can challenge my mind, soul and reach higher for my dreams.
I am loving what is happening. At night, I am falling asleep and resting all night long. My body feels warm, like my muscles are working. The sweat that runs down my face makes me feel strong. The Savasana is truly heightened into the relaxation that my anxiety filled days need.
This challenge is changing me, into more prayer, more compassion, more confidence and finally some sleep. I can't wait for Day 7! ( Want to join the challenge, click here! There is nothing to buy, no emails to gather, I just want to spread and share hope with the world and recharge my own dreams!)
Join our community of dreamers on the Facebook Page of the house that soap built!
Ugh, I hate that.
Don't get me wrong, that's ok if that is someone else's dream, it's just not mine.
My dream is to live on a farm, creating home products, teaching yoga and leading lifestyle classes for people. I want to continue to open my home for those who need a place to feel love, like my Great Great Grandmother did when she came to this country.
And maybe I will get back into acting.
I truly don't see me "going quietly into that good night". I see me being that old lady that my kids shake their heads at and wonder what I am going to do next. I want to march in protests, go sailing somewhere warm, and walk through Paris in my bare feet.
What does this have to do with 108 sun salutations and fear? Everything I have just listed are my dreams and dreams that I have been told I am too ( fill in the blank to get). This 108 is calling me to move beyond fear, into peace. Into my dreams, not what is responsible, but what brings me a giggle. A giggle I haven't had maybe ever.
These sun salutations will bring me out of my comfort zone, I will be facing my insecurities, fear, courage, arrogance and audacity to dream. These will be my prayer to push through the ceiling that has stopped me for all these years.
So, can you relate? Is any of this, my feelings resonating with you? Then join me. What are you wanting, dreaming, praying for? What limiting beliefs do you have and are ready to get rid of??
If you are joining me, then here are the rules:
1) It doesn't matter what or how many you do, just that you are intentional
2) Do 108 sun salutations a day for 30 days
3) Do 3.6 sun salutations a day for 30 days
4) Do 10.8 sun salutations
5) Do one
I don't care, so what you want, pick. Pick the kind , the amount. But here is what I do care about. Pick the amount that makes you scared. The kinda fear like the first day of school scared. Know you are pushing yourself into a new you. Yup, do that many.
We have a Facebook group that you can track your progress in or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. No I am not selling anything, not trying for weight loss, not gonna do a gotcha and here is my coaching.....nothing.
I am gathering like minded people who are willing to give it all for a dream that is bigger than them.
So are you in?? Email me or join the challenge here!
You can order my CD now on Amazon! ( you knew I was gonna brag!! :))
Sandra Kozlowski, CDP, CAAR, AAS, RHY 200
Curvy Yoga Certified, Y12SR Certified, Yoga for All Certified
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