I still love this series. It may seem like it is about the abs, but the bolster really helps you to become aware of the vertebra and how you can learn to isolate one at a time. 

Allow yourself to move slowly through this series and to learn to move with the breath. First try the flow, then add in the breath. Make sure that you draw the abs in deeper to protect your low back.  Maybe you can't pull up all the way, that's ok, draw up as far as you can with breath. 

A small joke that we have in my class is that the first one is always " clunky", your body will organize to the flow. Have patience and fun. 

​You are loved.

Ahhh, still teach this flow, every week.  One of my favorites.  
I have changed it up a bit, but the sequences is the same.  There is nothing else other than this sequence that makes the arthritis in my neck and shoulders quiet. 

Nothing else like this sequence allows me to be both in my grief and in my hope at the same time.  If you have are in experiencing grief, opening the chest becomes a game changer.
I remember going through my divorce.  I think the people thought I was having an easy time of it and I think from the outside , I could understand that perception. Things looked like I was happy, I ( erroneously ) was in a new relationship, new house, all my kids, new grandbaby. The internal rearranging however, took all I had.  I would double over in panic attacks, cry out his name in the middle of the night, and spent a lot of time missing him.  As sad as it is to say, I still think the divorce had to happen, yet I lost a good friend and still miss him at times. 

The pain was locked in my chest so very deep.  A cry that is so big you can't cry it, do you know the one? My yoga came to the rescue. I laid on the floor on my back, legs up on a chair, back of my knees on the chair.  I stretched my arms out to my sides and opened my chest to the heavens and breathed.  The breaths at first were so shallow, the deeper I got, the heavier my chest got, until I started to cry. It was a flood.  I felt like I cried out every ounce of water out of my body.  For 20 minutes, I laid on that floor, sobbing, breathing, looking a wreck, healing , and growing.  When I got up, things changed.  I was still sad and it took a while for the panic attacks to stop.  But the crying at night stopped, the ruminating stopped, the story telling stopped. 

It took a good cleaning of my own house to come back to my true heart. 

This is hard work and yet worth it.  Make sure you are in a place where you feel safe and supported.  Then lie down, open your arms and breathe. The breath will take care of the rest. You may have to do this more than once.  ( and while this is a very powerful pose, please know that the information that your breath brings up may be best processed with a mental health professional- I love that part.  My breath helps me know what I need to work on next !) You will notice each time a bit more clearing, a bit more joy, a few less sobs though there may still be tears.

Heart opening, one of my favorite poses and definitely worth the work and the benefits are amazing!! 

I have always taught yoga the same way.  Kinda funny now it is " cool". I consider myself a teacher holistically and the poses are a part of that teaching, as is the heart.

We have always started in a circle, I introduce myself and the topic for the day.  Always trying to keep it meaningful and modern with the philosophy of yoga in mind. Each student gets to say why they are in the class and what they need.  It doesn't matter their answer, it is the truth they have that day.

Then we move together in a group to process the information on a cellular level.  

So it was on this day on the video and the teaching that says are still the same questions that I battle in my head to date " What is holding me back?"  What does hold me back from fully expressing my yoga?  My dreams?  My joy? Asking to have my needs met? Meeting my own needs?

I don't know that there is one answer for every concern.  One place it starts for me is noticing the fear or sadness.  Sometimes when I am in a pose, I will just feel too vulnerable that day.  Maybe I am processing something from my past, sometimes from the current life challenging situation.  Other times, it is body shame.  As a trauma survivor, I am surprised at how often shame still comes up for me.  Many times a teacher will say to feel a certain part of my body, it can be some place as simple as my knee.  But if my mind is processing.a fear or pain all of a sudden , I can't bend my knee or it makes me want to cry/have an anxiety attack.  Or if I am struggling with abandonment again, I may not attend a class at all, I am not ready for the integration. 

Yes, there are many reasons that I allow myself to be held back.  The wonderful answer for me has become, I don't let myself stay there.  As best I can, I notice when I am stuck and ask myself "what do I want to do about this?" Honestly , sometimes the answer is "nothing, I am too overwhelmed".  Other times it's all about knuckling in and doing what I need to do and am ready to move through.

Always know that in the yoga studio and with a teacher, it is ok for you to be fully expressed.  If you in any way feel shamed or uncomfortable, please know yoga is still for you.  Maybe that teacher is not trauma informed ( and I have seen a lot of those teachers who think they are and then still do triggering cues and poses!).  Forgive them quickly and go to another class. 

Yoga is one of the ways that I can access the information about my blocks holistically, mind, body and spirit.  May you find your way to remove your blocks that heals you. May you take the time and give yourself a ton of permissions to take all the time you need to heal. remember healing is a journey, not a destination.

 I hope that I will see you on the mat with me as we both walk through the healing that yoga brings us both.

Namaste

I remember my first yoga class.  " OK class, let's do a small warm up of sun salutations!"  8 intermediate level sun salutations for this fat girl almost killed me.  The only reason I didn't run out of the door screaming is because I needed the gym credit for college. 

And that teacher changed my life.  There was never one day, one pose or one emotion that she couldn't support me through.  She just saw possibilities in me where I saw flaws and defects. 

I was so inspired that I took a yoga teacher training, my teacher and the classmates also saw beauty in my body.   They supported my every move.

Then I began to teach.  Please know that I love all the people I have been blessed to teach and to teach with.  Every one has taught me lessons.  The people who laughed at me when I said I was a yoga teacher , the yoga teachers that said I couldn't really love yoga or I wouldn't be ( you know---they meant fat), the students who would come in and never come back because I had nothing to teach them.

Or my personal favorite, when my body positive class was boycotted because I called it My Real Bodyoga.  ( You see I have always believed that I get to define my real body as I choose and so do you)

Yes, being the first body positive teacher in my area was hard.  It still can be sometimes.  There is still prejudice.  I will never be asked to be in the promo materials for a studio, often times my opinions and education of 16 years of yoga plus 12 years of being a body worker is ignored or minimized. 

And here I still stand.  Proud of my body. When the doctor gave me difficult news last year, I took to my mat with a passion.  When Covid hit, I took to the mat again.

 I have a taught yoga to probably over a thousand wonderful souls .  Many have gone on to other teachers, some have stayed for years, many have found healing, some have found their smile again.  All have been accepted for who they choose to be and how they express themselves.

Love yourself just as you are.  That is where the change begins.  It isn't a change to a different size or diet, the change begins when you learn to stop chasing what others want and begin to demand more from your life.  Less judgement, more love. 

It's time.  For you and me to lean into loving ourselves just as we are. 

If you have struggled with body image, I am your teacher.   I will sit with you as long as you need, move slowly or quickly, moving and breathing together.  Until.....until you get the Yoga Smile.  Once you get that smile, you will never go back to believing anything less than you are amazing.